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I realized I could hate you
for eternity or more,
I could block out that part of my life
and pretty much just slam the door.
I also realized this
I could forgive you for what you did,
how you hurt me a long time ago
when I was just a kid.
I've been given free will to choose
which path I'd like to take,
and i've chosen to forgive you
that's the choice i'm going to make.
Jesus died for me and has
forgiven what i've done,
and I will for you
do that same as God's own son.
I forgive you for you sins
and all you put me through,
I forgive you for hurting me
and even not caring too.
Now i expect you to take my hands
and look me in the eyes,
tell me that your sorry
and take back all the lies.
I want you to repent
for all you've done and do,
surrender you life to God
because I still care about you.

No One Knows

Behind her smile no one can see,
Behind her laugh no one would believe.
They think shes okay but inside shes sad,
she's so disappointed in the life shes had.
Her pain stays inside, it never shows,
The way she feels, she only knows.
Her heart is filled with pain her eyes with tears,
It's been this way for many years.
She hides inside herself where no one can see,
No one knows where she wants to be.
She wants to leave and never come back,
To never have another memory attack.
These are her feelings that do not show,
this is the pain that no one knows.

Lost Childhood

Where were the safe hugs that I needed at night,
Where were the parents who would leave a night light.
Where were you when I needed to rock,
Where were you when I needed to talk.
I wanted so badly to curl up to you,
So you could hold me like real parents do.
But you left me alone and didn't really care,
So I'd curl into a ball and at my wall stare.
A mother who should have been there to protect me from harm,
Was gone to another state with a man who could charm.
A father who should have been there to hold me oh so tight,
was pretty much just using me and saying its alright.
So here I stand today hurting oh so bad,
when I think about the childhood my parents should have made sure I had.
I feel like a little girl, desiring childish things,
In my hearts, my parents put oh so many dings.
Who knew when a childhood was lost,
so much pain and grief it would cost.

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Standing in an open bay I look up into the night,
I close my eyes, spread my arms and wish to take flight.
The rain pounds down upon my face, lighting fills the sky,
The thunder echos around me, but can't drown out my cries.
I wish I could leave all this pain behind,
but under the bay, under the rain, with my ache is where I stay.
The falling rain becomes one with the tears that run down my face,
Slowly I lover my arms and lay down in the empty space.
I live out on the bay and gaze into the rain,
It may wash away my tears, but it can't wash away my pain.
The rain continues to fall down on me as I stare with burning eyes,
The pain in my chest is so amazingly huge, I wish I could just lay down and die.
As the winds begin to pick up a shiver runs through my heart,
it shivers not because of the wind, but because it's been torn apart.
In the open bay with the storm above is where I remain,
crying out into the wind, my tears one with the rain.

Dear One

Oh my sweet angel I'm so sorry
No one told you life
would be full of pain and sorrow
That you would have such strife

But I promise that's not all
If you hold your head up high
You will see the beauty too
And hope will fill your eyes

I know that things are tough right now
But sooner than you think
God will take this all away
and of sweet joy you'll drink

You are so strong and you're so brave
I know you'll make it, dear
Happy times, they are ahead
So don't give in to fear

I know dear one that you're afraid
But those monsters inside
are smaller than you realize
for that is why they hide

Those fears they wait till you're alone
and tempt you with despair
But just remember night is short
the sun will soon be there

Let the sun remind you dear
though your troubles may be great
Like a nightmare it will end
As fast as when you wake

So hold your head up my dear child
Life will be good again
I know that things are tough right now
But the sun will rise again

Pretty Much

I Write when I'm bored, I write when I'm sad, I write when I'm happy, upset or mad. This is pretty much where it's going to go. Mostly for my own ( come back later and view) pleasure, but you are all welcome to it too :) Just no being mean, I don't really care what you have to think if it's going to be mean...