No One Knows

Behind her smile no one can see,
Behind her laugh no one would believe.
They think shes okay but inside shes sad,
she's so disappointed in the life shes had.
Her pain stays inside, it never shows,
The way she feels, she only knows.
Her heart is filled with pain her eyes with tears,
It's been this way for many years.
She hides inside herself where no one can see,
No one knows where she wants to be.
She wants to leave and never come back,
To never have another memory attack.
These are her feelings that do not show,
this is the pain that no one knows.

Lost Childhood

Where were the safe hugs that I needed at night,
Where were the parents who would leave a night light.
Where were you when I needed to rock,
Where were you when I needed to talk.
I wanted so badly to curl up to you,
So you could hold me like real parents do.
But you left me alone and didn't really care,
So I'd curl into a ball and at my wall stare.
A mother who should have been there to protect me from harm,
Was gone to another state with a man who could charm.
A father who should have been there to hold me oh so tight,
was pretty much just using me and saying its alright.
So here I stand today hurting oh so bad,
when I think about the childhood my parents should have made sure I had.
I feel like a little girl, desiring childish things,
In my hearts, my parents put oh so many dings.
Who knew when a childhood was lost,
so much pain and grief it would cost.

Untitled

Standing in an open bay I look up into the night,
I close my eyes, spread my arms and wish to take flight.
The rain pounds down upon my face, lighting fills the sky,
The thunder echos around me, but can't drown out my cries.
I wish I could leave all this pain behind,
but under the bay, under the rain, with my ache is where I stay.
The falling rain becomes one with the tears that run down my face,
Slowly I lover my arms and lay down in the empty space.
I live out on the bay and gaze into the rain,
It may wash away my tears, but it can't wash away my pain.
The rain continues to fall down on me as I stare with burning eyes,
The pain in my chest is so amazingly huge, I wish I could just lay down and die.
As the winds begin to pick up a shiver runs through my heart,
it shivers not because of the wind, but because it's been torn apart.
In the open bay with the storm above is where I remain,
crying out into the wind, my tears one with the rain.